October 17th, 1992
It’s so late that it’s soon to be early. I couldn’t sleep, so you decided to stay up with me. You didn’t have to, but that’s what you chose. You’re just about as loyal as a person can be, you know that? Do I deserve this?
As I write this, you’re in the kitchen getting yourself something to drink. Only now, I’m starting to feel drowsy. You make me feel so comfortable that I end up in a trance. I want to spend every waking moment with you, and I want every moment I have left on this Earth to be spent awake. I’m just sitting here, half-watching these commercials playing on the TV.
Out of the corner of my eye I can see the lights from the water in the fountain dance across the ceiling. I didn’t really say much when you complimented me on my design, but being able to sit like this makes me feel like I finally did what I set out to do.
We have a home. Not because I designed one, no. It’s you that makes it that way. Or, well, I suppose it’s the both of us. There were times when I was unsure of whether or not I’d ever feel like this. I’m comfortable. I’m safe. I’m happy. I don’t want to go out because everything I could ever want is right here. It’s finally right here.
I love the way you do everything that you do. The way that you enter a room. The way that you blow on your warm beverage to cool it down. The way that you always bring me one of whatever you’ve got, even if I don’t ask. I love the way you look with your hair down. I love the way you look when you tie your hair up. I love the way that you started wearing my glasses to protect your eyes from blue light. I love that no matter how polite you are, there are times where you don’t ask. It lets me know that you’re comfortable too. And you know, I love the way you sit there flipping through the channels without actually caring at all what you watch.
Every last inch of this place, built to specification. Of course, I wanted it for myself, but even long before being reunited, I knew that I had to make a place where the both of us could exist. It had to mean something. It had to represent everything I longed for all my life, and in that, I mean, it had to represent you.
Now, you’re really awake. You saunter across the room to put on a movie and then sprint back to the couch as if the floor were lava. You’re silly.
Every time we come together, it feels as though life has just begun. You want to watch Beauty & the Beast; I want to watch City Slickers. By the time we’re finished, I’m sure we’ll be ready for bed. The thing is, I want to stay up. Nothing in my dreams could ever compare to what I get to experience when I’m awake.
At 2 o’clock in the morning, all I want to do is be with you.
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